Welcome to Cairo.
If you ever come here, you'll know what I mean. Just about EVERYONE I meet says that. It's The Uberfriendlyness! Or something.
Anyhow, my dad's working here now, so parents have moved over here, so now its summer holidays and Uni's out, here I am.
Speaking of Uni, blaaaaaaargh. That is all I have to say on the matter. Alright wasnt that bad, but ONE freaking subject screwed me over...well sort of. Just thought i did a bit better really. Should be enough to get me where i want to go, hopefully. Stupid grades. For some weird reason I've even had DREAMS about that bloody thing coming up and causing problems later on. Who knew school was this stressful? Oh thats right, everyone does!
Well havent done much in Cairo yet, just helping out my mom recently. Not much to say about that, I'll probably have to write more about that later.
Being surrounded by deserts, this place is really sandy, and really dry. Takes a bit of getting used to, but honetly i cant wait for a sandstorm. I'm just curious as to what its like. Heh asking for trouble I suppose, well I'm back to sketching and attempting to write a story, which has sort of been in the works for the last few months or so, still very early in development. Writing a coherent story is honestly such a huge undertaking I wonder if i have the preserverence to keep it going. Wel summer holidays are long, we'll see what happens.
11 May 2006
Emotion
Wanted to post this a while ago, seems kind of rough still and doesnt seem to convey my exact thoughts, but hey...close enough i guess.
People say emotions are separate from thought. That while some people think things through, others react on their feelings. I do believe that everyone has some coherent thoughts before doing anything and do not just react instinctively. Unless of course the adrenaline is flowing and said person is in fight/flight mode.
But lets not get sidetracked (too much).
All the abstract ideas on what emotions actually are; have been thought up. So can we even define them in words in the first place? Would that not be picking apart and examining what makes up that particular emotion and thus losing part of the whole already. As we know, the sum of the parts of something does not necessarily equal the whole. That we try to describe emotions by 'thinking' about them seems to be a step backwards if they are truly apart from thought. Just how separate are emotion and thought anyway?
Some might say emotions are simply subconcious thoughts, things which are already going on in the background and simply bubble to the surface given the appropriate stimulus. Well i think so anyway, heh. After all people separate the 'head' from the 'heart', but this is obviously another flawed old view, because its rather obvious that the heart, while essential, is simply a blood pump. When brain activity stops it is assumed that the person has no concious thoughts. So it seems to fit rather appropriately, that while you may not conciously be thinking of anything, you can still 'feel' something, still have emotions. So subconcious = emotions, possibly, i'm not brain expert.
If you've gotten this far into this post, lie back in your seat for a moment, look around and take a stretch, you've earned it by getting past that sea of rambling.
Now lets move on and answer the question i posed earlier. How separate are thought and emotion? There seems to be a division, even if we go with the subconcious and concious thought theory thingy. Obviously one is done conciously with knowledge and intent while the other simply goes about without us ever knowing about it, most of the time (dreams are fun but i'm going on way too long already).
I do believe one more thing however, that state of mind affects emotion. So what i mean is that, thought makes emotion. And that seems like a weird conclusion. I know some people will be saying at this point: No way, its just another one of those, Thought Rules Emotion crappy thingamabobs!
But thats not what i meant really. Its simply the outlook we have on our lives. I must have deleted what i wanted to say after this around 20 times and i still cant word it right; so lets try an example?
So look at your life right now, in my case: i'm swamped with homework, i'm constantly lacking sleep, being kept up by my roudy floor mates, eating cafeteria food which i've grown bored of about a month ago, and my significant other is across the Pacific Ocean. Sure if you look at things like that you could say your life is pretty sucky.
But the way i look at things most of the time is: i'm actually in a university and i wanted to be here, i'm eating food at all, which is edible despite being rather boring by now, i get along with my floormates, and actually HAVE a significant other! (Wan Noor Diyana that is, be still my heart....)
When i look at things in that light i kind of feel grateful rather than sad.
So is it as simple as what Monty Python says? Always look on the bright side of life? (Though no one does expect the spanish inquisition, thats not relevant here) And by doing so will our lives magically seem happier and more fulfilling? The answer: I dont know, but hey it works for me. Perhaps thats the point i should have been pursuing in the first place, that we should honestly look at life and live life the way that makes us feel good. So think good, feel good, go have fun and stop reading this rubbish.
People say emotions are separate from thought. That while some people think things through, others react on their feelings. I do believe that everyone has some coherent thoughts before doing anything and do not just react instinctively. Unless of course the adrenaline is flowing and said person is in fight/flight mode.
But lets not get sidetracked (too much).
All the abstract ideas on what emotions actually are; have been thought up. So can we even define them in words in the first place? Would that not be picking apart and examining what makes up that particular emotion and thus losing part of the whole already. As we know, the sum of the parts of something does not necessarily equal the whole. That we try to describe emotions by 'thinking' about them seems to be a step backwards if they are truly apart from thought. Just how separate are emotion and thought anyway?
Some might say emotions are simply subconcious thoughts, things which are already going on in the background and simply bubble to the surface given the appropriate stimulus. Well i think so anyway, heh. After all people separate the 'head' from the 'heart', but this is obviously another flawed old view, because its rather obvious that the heart, while essential, is simply a blood pump. When brain activity stops it is assumed that the person has no concious thoughts. So it seems to fit rather appropriately, that while you may not conciously be thinking of anything, you can still 'feel' something, still have emotions. So subconcious = emotions, possibly, i'm not brain expert.
If you've gotten this far into this post, lie back in your seat for a moment, look around and take a stretch, you've earned it by getting past that sea of rambling.
Now lets move on and answer the question i posed earlier. How separate are thought and emotion? There seems to be a division, even if we go with the subconcious and concious thought theory thingy. Obviously one is done conciously with knowledge and intent while the other simply goes about without us ever knowing about it, most of the time (dreams are fun but i'm going on way too long already).
I do believe one more thing however, that state of mind affects emotion. So what i mean is that, thought makes emotion. And that seems like a weird conclusion. I know some people will be saying at this point: No way, its just another one of those, Thought Rules Emotion crappy thingamabobs!
But thats not what i meant really. Its simply the outlook we have on our lives. I must have deleted what i wanted to say after this around 20 times and i still cant word it right; so lets try an example?
So look at your life right now, in my case: i'm swamped with homework, i'm constantly lacking sleep, being kept up by my roudy floor mates, eating cafeteria food which i've grown bored of about a month ago, and my significant other is across the Pacific Ocean. Sure if you look at things like that you could say your life is pretty sucky.
But the way i look at things most of the time is: i'm actually in a university and i wanted to be here, i'm eating food at all, which is edible despite being rather boring by now, i get along with my floormates, and actually HAVE a significant other! (Wan Noor Diyana that is, be still my heart....)
When i look at things in that light i kind of feel grateful rather than sad.
So is it as simple as what Monty Python says? Always look on the bright side of life? (Though no one does expect the spanish inquisition, thats not relevant here) And by doing so will our lives magically seem happier and more fulfilling? The answer: I dont know, but hey it works for me. Perhaps thats the point i should have been pursuing in the first place, that we should honestly look at life and live life the way that makes us feel good. So think good, feel good, go have fun and stop reading this rubbish.
27 Feb 2006
More reading...
Oh speaking of thinking and seeing the world in our own way, read this;
http://www.commonground.ca/iss/0410159/cg159_geoffUniv.shtml
I love that article, thinking back it might have influenced me quite a bit too.
http://www.commonground.ca/iss/0410159/cg159_geoffUniv.shtml
I love that article, thinking back it might have influenced me quite a bit too.
11 Feb 2006
Wantwantwant
Do you know what you want?
I know exactly what you want...what you dont have.
And you know its true, because even if you answered "nothing", you certainly do not have nothing, you are sure to have something, anything. Seriously though, everyone desires what they do not have, and in many cases they mistake want for need. I hear that all the time; I have to get that...I need it! As I recall there were only a few actual needs in a human's life. Food, water, clothing, and shelter. I'm not sure who first made that list, but it sucks doesnt it? I think they should add to that (if they havent already) , companionship and money. In this day and age, you basically need money to get food, clothing and water, if youre living in highly urban areas at least.
The way i see it, if youre in urban areas you need only money, and that will get you most everything else, even companionship (yeah lets face it financial security is attractive, no point arguing otherwise).
As usual i've gone off on a tangent, lets head back to wants.
Most of the things you want, are completely useless or nonessential. I know i'd like to have a nice new computer comprised of some super expensive cutting edge technology, but the laptop i'm currently typing at does just fine for most of the things i'm doing already. I'd like to buy an external hard drive, but honestly i could just burn off everything i'm not using right now to cds/dvds and clean out my hard drive. I would like the cafeteria to stay open late, but i could just sleep instead of hacking away at the computer at this ungodly hour.
Wants dont really seem to be based in reality sometimes, havent you had fantasies of having some crazy adventure, saving the day, being a hero and getting the girl/guy of your 'dreams'? Well yeah thats not likely to happen any time soon. I think thats why escapism is so popular, from fantasy stories to roleplaying games, they let us live through such things through them.
Wants are a focus in some cases, a goal to head to. Perhaps a journey without end, but often, the journey is what is truly important, not its ending. Some wants are unhealthy, where the want is so great that it becomes obsession.
The saying goes; the Grass is always Greener on the other side. If we stopped to look at what we already have, i think many of us will see that wants really are just that, things we want, but do not need. Many of us live comfortably, others not so well and others still live in opulence. If more people wanted to help others rather than amass more belongings, would the world not be better? The fact of the matter is, i think if we spent as much as we do on our wants to provide others needs, a lot of problems would be solved. An idealistic view perhaps.
We should be thankful for what we have right now instead of chasing dreams all the time. As i said goals are fine, and dreams shape where we head to. But just stop to take a look at what you have once in a while, after all, you might miss whats right infront of you while gazing into the distance.
I know exactly what you want...what you dont have.
And you know its true, because even if you answered "nothing", you certainly do not have nothing, you are sure to have something, anything. Seriously though, everyone desires what they do not have, and in many cases they mistake want for need. I hear that all the time; I have to get that...I need it! As I recall there were only a few actual needs in a human's life. Food, water, clothing, and shelter. I'm not sure who first made that list, but it sucks doesnt it? I think they should add to that (if they havent already) , companionship and money. In this day and age, you basically need money to get food, clothing and water, if youre living in highly urban areas at least.
The way i see it, if youre in urban areas you need only money, and that will get you most everything else, even companionship (yeah lets face it financial security is attractive, no point arguing otherwise).
As usual i've gone off on a tangent, lets head back to wants.
Most of the things you want, are completely useless or nonessential. I know i'd like to have a nice new computer comprised of some super expensive cutting edge technology, but the laptop i'm currently typing at does just fine for most of the things i'm doing already. I'd like to buy an external hard drive, but honestly i could just burn off everything i'm not using right now to cds/dvds and clean out my hard drive. I would like the cafeteria to stay open late, but i could just sleep instead of hacking away at the computer at this ungodly hour.
Wants dont really seem to be based in reality sometimes, havent you had fantasies of having some crazy adventure, saving the day, being a hero and getting the girl/guy of your 'dreams'? Well yeah thats not likely to happen any time soon. I think thats why escapism is so popular, from fantasy stories to roleplaying games, they let us live through such things through them.
Wants are a focus in some cases, a goal to head to. Perhaps a journey without end, but often, the journey is what is truly important, not its ending. Some wants are unhealthy, where the want is so great that it becomes obsession.
The saying goes; the Grass is always Greener on the other side. If we stopped to look at what we already have, i think many of us will see that wants really are just that, things we want, but do not need. Many of us live comfortably, others not so well and others still live in opulence. If more people wanted to help others rather than amass more belongings, would the world not be better? The fact of the matter is, i think if we spent as much as we do on our wants to provide others needs, a lot of problems would be solved. An idealistic view perhaps.
We should be thankful for what we have right now instead of chasing dreams all the time. As i said goals are fine, and dreams shape where we head to. But just stop to take a look at what you have once in a while, after all, you might miss whats right infront of you while gazing into the distance.
14 Nov 2005
Essence
What is the essence of an object? Of an animal/plant/person(though arguably people fall under "animal" too)? What is it that is essential in these things?
Take a look at say...essence of Vanilla, and in this case i am refering to the synthetic vanilla essence, not vanilla extract. Because Vanilla is becoming rarer (due to various reasons i wont go into here) the price of real Vanilla pods is increasing and too high to be very economical for personal use, say in baking (and most industries would not cut thier profits by using real Vanila, unless of course thier product was extremely expensive making it less accessible to consumers) but before i get carried away into economics lets get back to the fact that essence of vanilla, really isnt anywhere near a match for the real thing. How then can we say it is the essence of Vanilla if it is not as rich as the natural vanilla?
Lets look at, essence of chicken. (Maybe i was hungry when i wrote this or something) Its that funny liquid in bottle, which is supposed to be the essence of what the chicken is. Alright perhaps to say that is hoping too much, it is supposed to be all the good nutrients we would normally get from chicken, only it is in that liquid form. However, it can not be any substitute for an actualy meal of chicken. If we were to eat only essence of chicken we would probably starve, if we ate actual chicken, the worst you can go is malnutrition due to an unbalanced diet.
I suppose what i find is that, when you strip away the 'access' of something, and try to find and then separate the 'essence' from everything else, we lose much of its value in the process. In other words, in attempting to find the essence of something, we are, in fact losing the very thing we search for.
Picture your most identifying feature, then take it out from your image of yourself, and place it alone in your thoughts. It is simply a characteristic. without the rest of your experience, how you look, what you think, what you feel, without the rest of 'you', it becomes something which could apply to anyone. Definitely not your essence, not something solely associated with 'you', that someone would look at and immediately say "Ah yes, that's totally 'so-and-so'!".
There is no part that is not essential to something or someone being who or what they are. To take away a part from the whole is to make something else.
Take a look at say...essence of Vanilla, and in this case i am refering to the synthetic vanilla essence, not vanilla extract. Because Vanilla is becoming rarer (due to various reasons i wont go into here) the price of real Vanilla pods is increasing and too high to be very economical for personal use, say in baking (and most industries would not cut thier profits by using real Vanila, unless of course thier product was extremely expensive making it less accessible to consumers) but before i get carried away into economics lets get back to the fact that essence of vanilla, really isnt anywhere near a match for the real thing. How then can we say it is the essence of Vanilla if it is not as rich as the natural vanilla?
Lets look at, essence of chicken. (Maybe i was hungry when i wrote this or something) Its that funny liquid in bottle, which is supposed to be the essence of what the chicken is. Alright perhaps to say that is hoping too much, it is supposed to be all the good nutrients we would normally get from chicken, only it is in that liquid form. However, it can not be any substitute for an actualy meal of chicken. If we were to eat only essence of chicken we would probably starve, if we ate actual chicken, the worst you can go is malnutrition due to an unbalanced diet.
I suppose what i find is that, when you strip away the 'access' of something, and try to find and then separate the 'essence' from everything else, we lose much of its value in the process. In other words, in attempting to find the essence of something, we are, in fact losing the very thing we search for.
Picture your most identifying feature, then take it out from your image of yourself, and place it alone in your thoughts. It is simply a characteristic. without the rest of your experience, how you look, what you think, what you feel, without the rest of 'you', it becomes something which could apply to anyone. Definitely not your essence, not something solely associated with 'you', that someone would look at and immediately say "Ah yes, that's totally 'so-and-so'!".
There is no part that is not essential to something or someone being who or what they are. To take away a part from the whole is to make something else.
23 Oct 2005
Hurt
Only those you care about can really hurt you. Once you have no one and nothing, you wont feel anything. You will be free, but utterly, hopelessly empty. Without direction and motivations, truly apart from your fellow man in that you have no feeling anymore. Blacken the soul. Crush the heart. Close yourself to people. What use are these in this world. Any other reaction is an invitaion to pain. Life is pain and suffering. But you are a coward to do so. A fool to hide from people. To isolate yourself. Surely this will simply lead to madness. Or have you been down that path for too long now?
19 Oct 2005
The Beauty of Women
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" famous words, but how true are they?
To a certain extent there are many types of beauty, and what a person percieves as beauty. However, I think when we look at women (sorry I don't do beautiful guys in this topic, perhaps this will warrant more analysis later, ok got sidetracked oops) As I was saying before I interrupted myself, in women beauty has a lot to do with childbearing, strangely enough. Of course I didnt really see it that way untill I read Gene Wolfe's THe Fifth Head of Cerberus. In this book, one chapter talks about how you can simply break it down to men seeing how fit the member of the opposite sex is to bear his children. Not much of a suprise really considering we're all wired to procreate as much as possible, ensuring the continuation of our genes and what not.
So we look at what a woman from the top down (I'd say there are quite a few guys who would start elsewhere, but lets go in a systematic manner here). First the face, the facial features are simply an indication of the overall health of a person, 'most' of the time if a person looks after themselves their faces will reflect the care they put into thier health. Moving right along we come to the...uh chest area. The breasts are quite obviously the main source of nutrition for a child (or at least it used to be, I'm not so sure how popular breast feeding is nowadays). Further down we get to the hips, of course this is where the baby will actually come to form and be born from. Then the legs, women leg muscles are usually some of the strongest and largest in their body, and this is to bear the additional weight of a child (this is the one point I added to Wolfe's, see I contribute!) and of course longer legs mean they can run faster from predators and such.
So the full breasts, wide hips and long legs we men rave about seems to simply be another instict in us to find appropriate child bearers. I know what you're thinking, its not like the notion that all guys thought about was sex needed to be stated again.
To a certain extent there are many types of beauty, and what a person percieves as beauty. However, I think when we look at women (sorry I don't do beautiful guys in this topic, perhaps this will warrant more analysis later, ok got sidetracked oops) As I was saying before I interrupted myself, in women beauty has a lot to do with childbearing, strangely enough. Of course I didnt really see it that way untill I read Gene Wolfe's THe Fifth Head of Cerberus. In this book, one chapter talks about how you can simply break it down to men seeing how fit the member of the opposite sex is to bear his children. Not much of a suprise really considering we're all wired to procreate as much as possible, ensuring the continuation of our genes and what not.
So we look at what a woman from the top down (I'd say there are quite a few guys who would start elsewhere, but lets go in a systematic manner here). First the face, the facial features are simply an indication of the overall health of a person, 'most' of the time if a person looks after themselves their faces will reflect the care they put into thier health. Moving right along we come to the...uh chest area. The breasts are quite obviously the main source of nutrition for a child (or at least it used to be, I'm not so sure how popular breast feeding is nowadays). Further down we get to the hips, of course this is where the baby will actually come to form and be born from. Then the legs, women leg muscles are usually some of the strongest and largest in their body, and this is to bear the additional weight of a child (this is the one point I added to Wolfe's, see I contribute!) and of course longer legs mean they can run faster from predators and such.
So the full breasts, wide hips and long legs we men rave about seems to simply be another instict in us to find appropriate child bearers. I know what you're thinking, its not like the notion that all guys thought about was sex needed to be stated again.
17 Oct 2005
Uni Life
Studies are in full swing now as the first slew of midterms come up and kill almost all my free time. Living with so many guys and girls who routinely get drunk/high is a very new experience. Most of the time I don't really bother to join them in thier partying. I'm not really comfortable with crowds anyway. I find myself one of the only people who on my floor who doesnt drink, smoke or do anything basically. I always say its against my religion to drink, but honestly, that decision is a personal thing. Constantly we decide on what we do (this contradicts my previous post about having no choice whatsoever, but hey, no one said I was right in the first place) for example the aforementioned smoking and drinking. it may be banned, illegal or against your religion, but lets face it. If you really wanted to, you'd find a way. Everytime we have a choice to either start (or continue) any one of these things. I wont really say they are "bad habits," since I honestly do not know (having never tried it myself) and so I think it unfair to judge others, as if i'm somehow above them simply because of my abstinence. If I tried it, decided for myself I didnt enjoy it and gave it up, it still would not give me the right to tell them what to do.
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